Weekly D'var - January 11, 2025
01/11/2025 12:47:09 PM
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Parashat Vayechi
Jorde Nathan
January 2025
I offer these words in the zechut of four important shul principles. In no particular order they are:
Kavod l’Shabbat
Kavod l’Grandparents
Louder
Shorter
With appropriate sanctity and respect for shabbat, I attempt to honor the other three principles.
Yaakov is on his deathbed in Mitzrayim and is executing his legacy plan. This of course is the series of blessings in this parasha that he gives to each of the sh’vatim. I want to focus on the specific circumstances and blessings as related to Yosef. We would expect a blessing for Yosef to be similar to that of the other brothers. Yet two things are critically noteworthy:
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A first aspect of Yaakov’s blessing gives a direction of how we are to bless our children. Yaakov directs that children should be like Ephraim and Menashe. This is a huge blessing and recognition of Yosef. What did he do right? In what ways are Ephraim and Menashe praiseworthy?
The Talmud says that he who learns [Torah] from his grandfather is like he received it [Torah] directly from Sinai itself. And yet Yaakov is directing legacy blessings on the first kids Menashe and Ephraim who DID NOT learn from their Zeida. Grampa Yaakov was not around let alone available to teach in the learning years Yosef’s kids. So why single them out?
The Meshech Chochmah speaks to the nature of parent/child relationships and explains why Torah from grandparents may be more pure. Parents, says the Meshech Chochmah, are completely invested in their kids and may present bias in forcing a heavy hand upon the children. Parents have their own egos as related to their kids. Parents may want a doctor or a lawyer; they may want a goal scorer or first place trophy winner. Grandparents, on the other hand, usually have unconditional love without bias or constraints. They just want the best, plain and simple. And this pure love is like the pure love we experience from Hashem at matan Torah, at Sinai. And the kids sense this. And they are more likely to listen to grandparents than say parents.
When Yaakov blesses Yosef, that our generations should be like his kids, he highlights the fact that Yosef did it. Yosef was able to transcend parental bias in [mis]raising kids and to infuse those true values typically coming from grandparents. And Ephraim and Menashe were able to accept Yosef’s lessons and stay connected even without the grandfather.
Calling all grandparents: what a tremendous opportunity to teach and guide your grandchildren. And a message to parents: being like Yosef without ego can bring kids to accept their blessings.
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A second aspect of Yaakov’s blessings deals with the boys Menashe and Ephraim themselves. Notice how I switch the order…Menashe / Ephraim…Ephraim / Menashe? Let’s recall the original switcheroo: Yosef brings the boys for a blessing. Menashe is the bechor and stands on Yaakov’s right; Ephraim is the second son and stands on the left. So far, so good.
Yosef positioned the boys according to his / Yosef’s will. But Yaakov lifted his hands and put them out “wisely.” The verse suggests there was wisdom in Yaakov crossing over and switching his left and right hands. Why not simply ask the boys to trade places left and right? What is the “wisdom” in crossing hands?
Menashe was the “right”ful first born. And so, Yosef set him to the right. Pshat. The Haamek Davar digs into the lives of the boys. Menashe worked alongside Yosef; he was the finance guy, the business guy, administering physical realities including famine in Mitzrayim. Efraim, says Haamak Davar, was a rabbi-type. He was focused and preoccupied with spiritual life and continuity according to the traditions of the avot. Yaakov saw the different strengths of each boy. In his “wise handiwork, he creates a cake-and-eat-it-to solution. Menashe is STANDING on the right. He is physically standing in support just like he will stand to support the country. He is getting the strong blessing by physically being on the right. Ephraim, with the crossed hands, is getting the spiritual blessing of the right. This is the STRONGER of the two blessings per se, but Menashe is satisfied with being physically on the stronger side. Each son receives the first/stronger blessing. And as we learn in proverbs, Ephraim and Menashe were blessed wisely by Yaakov, each according to his way.*
*The right hand is associated with the hand that feeds. The hand feeds the mouth with is on the head which has the mind/brain. The right is considered the stronger side.
Tue, February 11 2025
13 Shevat 5785
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